So, I know it has been a long time since I wrote my last post and I basically took a year off, but as many of you know about 2 weeks after I wrote my last post we finally received THE CALL about our little boy! Can I just say how amazing it is to see how God works and not knowing that as I wrote it, our little boy had already been born and was waiting for us!!! Feel free to go back and read what I wrote about, how as I was letting go and giving it to God, that He was already 2 steps ahead of us and had our blessing prepared for us and waiting. I don't think the timing of how everything unfolded was by coincidence, but instead by God's divine plan! God works in miraculous and wonderful ways! I can't even begin to express how in awe I am at how He guided and allowed our story to unfold. So, now fast forward one year and we are about to celebrate the 1 year birthday of our little man, Caleb. WOW! How fast this past year has gone by, but I know we get to experience all the years to come and make many more memories.
Now, I know I am not the best writer and I can't promise how often I will write any posts as I am obviously very busy between 2 jobs, my family, and my church. However, I thought I would try to write every once in awhile, since we have so many family and friends all over, not only North Carolina, but also over the country, and wow, even around the world. As we are coming up to Caleb's 1 year birthday and celebrating National Orphan Sunday in 2 weeks, I have really been reflecting on how I felt and what I was doing this time last year, when I didn't even know about Caleb, but I did know that God was stirring something in my heart for his arrival. So most of you know the story of how everything unfolded the weeks and months leading up to us getting Caleb, but if you don't know I thought I would take a moment and catch everyone up...
As most of you know I am 100% a PLANNER! I have a timeline and a schedule on how things need to be done, so obviously waiting in our adoption process was a definite test for me. However, God knew what He was doing as the timeline would unfold for the arrival of our son. Kelly and I agreed that we would only get the main furniture and a couple of key items, before we actually received a call about a placement. Thanks to some amazing friends, we did, however, agree to have only 1 baby shower in advance of an actual placement call in order to get some additional necessities!
For about 3 months leading up to the arrival of Caleb, I had in me this restless feeling that something was going on, but I didn't know what it was. I told Kelly and my mom for months that I knew we were going to have a child by Christmas, and as any good husband and mom would do, they both tried to tell me to not get my hopes up in the event that it didn't happen. Needless to say, I ignored their advice because in my heart of hearts I knew this was happening. I could even begin to actually picture what our living room would look like with toys everywhere and a baby crawling on the floor, which is exactly what it looks like today. Haha! I was so certain that God was laying it on my heart that we would have a child by Christmas that we decorated the house with Christmas decorations the beginning of November, so that I knew we were ready if we got the call. Even a friend of ours, while going on a Pastor's Conference, the 2nd weekend in November, remembers me saying that I know we will have a baby by Christmas. I'm not saying I can predict the future by any means, but I am saying that God placed in me such a strong desire and longing for this child, which I can only explain as his way of preparing me for motherhood.
One of the best stories during this journey to meet our son came on the actual day Caleb was born. Remember, we didn't know of his birth until almost a month after he was born. The day he was being born I was at a Christmas fair with my mom. As we were shopping we came up to this booth that had bibs and burp cloths. Well, I fell in LOVE with this one set in a green argyle pattern with dark navy blue. I couldn't stop looking at it and wanting it. Well, as has been our agreement from the beginning, I didn't want to go crazy and by stuff, since we didn't know if we would have a boy or girl. My only reason for not getting it was I thought it looked very boyish and if we got a girl I didn't know if it would be good for a girl. So I told my mom to let's walk around and look at everything else and if it is still there when we come back around then I will get it. Well, needless to say it was in the exact place I had left it since we walked away and I couldn't get it off my mind the entire time. Who knew that at that moment that I was looking that bib and burp cloth set that my little boy was being born. I 100% believe that my longing for this set was God building that connection and longing with my son before I ever had met him. They say in adoption that our children grew in our hearts instead of our tummies, and that is exactly what God was doing for me. He was growing this love and this longing for a child that I had not even met yet.
Fast forward 3 weeks, the day before we got THE CALL I was at work and when I left work that day I was so mad because I had not gotten everything I needed to get done at work before the weekend. I had spent every weekend for the past few weeks making sure when I left on Thursday that I was 100% ready just in case we got a call. On the way home from work that day, I called Kelly and I remember saying to him "I'm so mad that I didn't get all my work done. What if we get a call this weekend and I'M NOT READY?!?!". Well guess what happened the next day, on Friday (this is when I think God has an amazing sense of humor)?!?!
Around 2 PM on Friday, I get a call from our case worker as I was driving to church. When I saw her name calling me, it didn't even register what it would be about. She started the call as calm as possible and just said she was checking on her families and then preceded to say "So Lindsey, knowing you, you probably already have your Christmas decorations up and presents bought and wrapped under the tree". Well I laughed and responded with "well of course the decorations are up and presents are bought, but not wrapped yet", which she quickly responded with "well you better go ahead and do that". Now, I will admit at this point I still had NO CLUE what this call was about and it didn't register at all with me, so I just kind of laughed off her response. Then she said the words I have been longing to hear for 3 1/2 years as we have waited to be parents..."Well you better get ready because you will be a mother on MONDAY!" That moment will forever stand still in my mind. I know where I was, what I was doing, and that feeling I will never forget. So I try to continue to drive, without going too much over the speed limit, as I race to church to get to Kelly and ask her if she can hold because I don't want to hear another detail until we are together to hear it at the same time.
Finally, as I race into the church and come into Kelly's office crying as the case worker is on mute trying to explain what is happening, we finally un-muted her and she tells us we have been selected for a beautiful little boy! Needless to say, tears are flowing in overdrive at this moment! The next few moments are filled with jumping up and down, crying, writing down all the facts as fast as we can, and then sitting in his office WAITING to get a picture of our little man. As we wait, I finally get the words out with the feelings God has been re-affirming in my heart for months and I say "I TOLD YOU WE WOULD HAVE A CHILD BY CHRISTMAS" (Kelly will never question again my mother's intuition...haha). When we finally saw his handsome face, we fell in love and God reaffirmed our love for this little one and that he was hours. Next, in order to avoid telling ANYONE before we could get to our parents, we left the church and drove down the street and just sat in our car making calls. The next hours we spent telling parents (who all SCREAMED and CRIED on the phone) as well as family and friends. The following 3 days became a whirlwind as we had to buy everything we could imagine to prepare for Caleb's arrival as well as recruiting assistance from family and friends. I didn't think Monday at 3 PM could get here soon enough.
Now I know this post is already long enough so I will wait and share more on the actual day of getting him in the next few days, so to not do information overload with you in one post. Haha! I hope for those of you that haven't heard all these details before, that this helps you see how God works absolutely everything out in His PERFECT timing and His PERFECT way! The journey was long to get to that moment, but I wouldn't trade a second of it as I know it is all a part of God's plan and design for our life and I give Him all the glory for what He has done for us!
